06 September 2008

It's all questionable.

Since I have been off the travel road and in the comforts of home, I have been trying to do some soul searching. A life assessment, an intrapersonal check up and ultimately an overall interrogation of myself. However, I am not coming up with many answers.

In my Lennox Headquarters, talk moves fast and gossip even faster. It's not new information that Alli is home now, she graduated, she doesn't have a job, she is living at home and can't seem to find her way. But is that bad? That's questionable.

What is so bad about taking a breather, hanging with my family, saving some money and just working for the sake of working? Why is it so socially unacceptable to just simply want to enjoy your twenties. Do what you want, travel, work as bartender, become a wind surfing, clearing out your bank account to follow the Cubs to all games across the country or take the pilgrimage to visit Bob Marley's birthplace. What happen to Spontaneous Youth? Has it died with our society's hunger to become rich and successful. Why can't it be done later! Maybe I am just a dreamer or just skeptic towards find my career, but it that type of mind frame bad?

One thing this summer that hasn't went into question has been my friends! Whether it's reconnecting with my old ones or being distracted by my international ones. My foggy vision of self doubt cleared for a few weeks when first when Marco made the long trip from down under to visit my Lennox homespot. Then only a few weeks later, to have Lauren, my British counterpart, hang with me. You realize how beautiful home really is when you show it to someone who is experiencing it for the first time. Marco and Lauren, truly made my summer and just have thank them for making it awesome!

After there planes heading off into the expansive sky, the foggy of self doubt rolled back in, my mind muddy, refreshed a bit with moments of clarity my friends had given me but was again quickly trying after being pulled in all directions. I want to do everything, I want to write, I want to travel, I want to learn something new, experience something new, meet new people, learn more language, culture, traditions, explore a new area of life, I just don't know where to start, what to do or how it can happen. Do I spend two years in a remote area of the world with the Peace Corps? Do I head into the classrooms of Japan as a JET? Or is there some new job, program or thing for me out there that I don't know about. I am questioning, but don't have any answer, if you do....please tell me ASAP

I was channel surfing the other day, and came across this show called 'Odyssey: The Drive Around the World.' This team of young adults were driving around the world to raise awareness for Parkinson's Disease. Was seriously amazing. They started in CA, drove down the west coast to the tip of the Baja Peninsula, into Mexico hit up a ferry and skipped to South America. Drove down the western coast to basically the tip of the world, up to Bueno Aires, hopped on a boat to Australia trekked across the Outback to Singapore, up through Southeast Asia, India, Pakistan, into Russia, across the Siberian wilderness to Alaska and back down to Canada! Took them more then a year, but was some serious stuff....now I need to find a job like that! But anyway....

So for all of those out there who want to ask the question of the hour. 'Oh Alli, do you have a job yet" I plead the fifth!!!!

I love my segmented life of abrupt fits of travel, unanswered questions and the thought that the world is mine. I am not going to throw myself into a job that I am not sure I like so much, I know my opportunity will come or I will run into. It's all questionable, and I like it that way.